No Love lost, you’re just lost

LADIES i feel like I must say this or else it will never be said. I have made mistakes in my life countless times and I continue to make mistakes. Some mistakes may have been avoidable if I had someone to help me. I didn’t however, which is why I was left looking like the lost dumb girl. So here it goes…. IF HE IS NOT YOUR HUSBAND STOP DOING THE DUTIES OF A WIFE!  We have ALL made the mistake of cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and making beds for these little boys. My question to you is what is your reward ? What did you get for doing a grown mans laundry? a $8 dollar movie date that neither one of you could afford…. oh okay. what do you get out of laying next to a man every night although you have your own house and he has his own place? a warm body to hold? ….oh okay. Seems to me if he wanted to shack up he could wife up. What do you get out of making him a home cooked meal using more than likely the food you brought ? a premature weenie ?…oh okay. Moving on. Ladies STOP MAKING HOUSE VISITS SO SOON! lets be real ladiessssss you’re on your first date and he takes you to chili’s. How sweet… Then he decides that your company is just too great that he can’t be without it so he invites to to his place. Of course why wouldn’t he? Its free and he doesn’t have to waste gas. More importantly it’s his chance to meet kitty. So you go over there already with the idea of what he wants in your mind. Now either you are the silly chick that thinks “well he took me to chilli’s so I guess I’ll let him have it” or you’re the silly chick that thinks “this boy thinks he’s slick, we are not doing anything but I’ll come over”. Either way it goes he’s meeting kitty because you are there and you are a woman and it only takes that one kiss in that one spot to set you off. So honey don’t play yourself short, go home, or that’ll be the last chili’s date you receive. Next, DON’T FORGET WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH HIM. Now ladies I see this ALOT and I’ll admit I’ve done this myself. Many times when we “think” he’s the one so we will dedicate every minute of our existence to him. When we are not with him we are thinking of him. It’s just too much ladies and honestly you do nothing but tire the relationship out too soon. Do not get so caught up in his life that you forget about your own. When it ends, which it will, it’ll hurt that much more because of the amounts of time he consumed. You will feel lost and hopeless trying to readjust to life before him. Remember ladies a woman too available is a turn off so go turn up with your girls and live your life ! HE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND NOT YOUR CHILD ! now I don’t really have to say much about this subject. The money you give him is being spent on shoes to impress other chicks instead of on flowers to impress his own chick. The car you are letting him drive is being driven to his side chick’s house. The house you are paying bills for because he can’t keep a job is being occupied by hims, his side chick, and her kids while you slave at work. You get the picture right? A man should be the provider and if he is not he is not a man. So trade that boy in for a toy and have a good day OKAY! Last but not least, LOVE DON’T PAY BILLS. Sweetie if you can’t afford something and you asking your friends instead of your man what is really going on ?! You should be working an extra job instead of laying with him on your free time. It’s not cute and just know the folks are talking, but you can’t be mad because your situation is sad sad sad. Get it together girlfriend.

Hope this helps one of you confused young sweeties. Someday the right love will come but if you are in any one of these relationships my advice would be to wrap it up. That is all. Ya’ll be blessed !

Takes a village to raise a child

The other day I had a talk with a coworker about different cultures. He is from Iraq but recently moved to America for better job opportunities. We began to compare countries and I asked him would he live in America forever. His response was no. He agreed that America is truly the land of the free and we have way more opportunities than most but one thing America did lack was boundaries. His argument for not wanting to live in America for very long was the fact that he has daughters. “As I watch these children grow so fast I am terrified for my daughter. I do not want her to be exposed to situations and relationships too early. Her time for maturity will come but when she is ready”. He pointed out our movie theaters for example. “In my country sex scenes and kissing is not allowing. We do not expose our children too early because they will begin to wonder. It was not until after college that I began to look at my women peers as more than friends. We were not taught to think of them as anything else so soon”. After our conversation I began to think about how much America entertainment affects us daily. Was he right? Is it wrong for movie theaters to display scenes on adults kissing even if the movie is PG13 ? Should sexual activity on any level be banned from movies? One day I was attending a Wednesday bible study at Joel Osteen’s church. There was a guest speaker, I can not remember his name. Anyway, he was introduced on the stage by his wife and and she handed over the mic they swamped a mouth to mouth kiss. I was taken aback because I was not use to such behavior. Children attend these churches. They know what kissing is but only because of whats been exposed to them.

It may be too late to say this now because we live in a age where 12 year old’s are conceiving but I believe the entertainment industry should do a better job of educating children. It takes a village to raise a child. Therefore, that village needs to be on the same agenda teaching the same lessons. Children see everything and will mock what they’ve learned. We have more of an influence than we’d like to believe. To those people who don’t allow their children to watch TV or very little, good for you. To the rest of you breeders do better !

live girl, have some fun girl, we’ll be fine

one of our biggest mistakes in life is forgetting to live our lives ! we follow too many rules. we have our parents rules, our bosses rules, our teachers rules, our pastors rules, our friends rules…the list goes on ! Our own rules are the last ones we follow. Why is that? Maybe because we are suffocated by so many rules that we rarely have the time to make and follow our own. I am not saying that the rules that others have set forth are of any harm. That may not be the case or it may. I can not make that call. What I can say is that you have to be larger than those rules. By this I mean LIVE. Don’t get too comfortable in the boundaries of what seems right. Go against the grain a little, what could it hurt ? Break the rules and step out on faith. Create memories worth remembering. Have fun your way. In the end it is not the things we did that we will regret but more so the things we did not do. 

Letting Go

ever heard the saying “you must leave the past in the past or sacrifice your future?” well that saying is definitely true. I did not realize the potential of those words until yesterday. about six months ago I was your typical young lady. my life consisted of happiness, love, and adventure. I lived everyday with purpose and I moved to the beat of my own drum. Suddenly my life took a drastic change for the worse. I let my emotions get the best of me. I allowed insecurity to pick away at me. When self doubt came knocking I invited it in for tea. I was and still am a wreck. It took me a while to realize exactly why all of these emotions were flowing throughout me. I knew something was different. It’s still different. I find it harder to focus now. This issue eats away at me slowly. It makes me cry. It makes me sad. It makes me feel empty……

but like a light bulb in my head it all became clear to me. I have to let this issue go. Its time to wash myself clean of what’s causing me to harbor these feelings. This is not me. I am not this girl. I am happy. I am healthy. I am alive. Its time to act alive. Because if I don’t this issue will conquer me and ruin the great potential that I posses for the future. when you are too busy lingering over the past you will not pay attention to the future. That is because the past is draining you of energy you need for the future.

Sometimes I think we don’t realize that the very thing that is hurting us is also what we can’t seem to let go of. We cling to it like it is the cure when usually it is the poison. We psych our minds into believing the issue at hand is not as big as it seems when in actuality it is major. It’s controlling who we are as a person.

However, the best part of being in this type of situation is that we are still in control. You have the power to put and end to it. Break free, break old habits, try new things. New is good. Yet the question left to answer is “will you be strong enough to end it?”

Whether it is a job, family members, lovers, friends, finances, etc you have to let go if there is anything negative associated it. Think about like this “it’s either you or it.” Do not drown trying to save something.