2014 was started like all other new years. I was convinced that this year was my come up year. This year I would land that dream job that would get me one step closer to reaching the goals I set forth for myself. This year I would fall dangerously in love with Mr. Wonderful and we’d live happily ever after. I had so many expectations for this year. Like the rest of the world I made a list of new years resolutions. I can honestly say I don’t remember even just one of them.
Okay so now what? Are you ready for me to start spilling the tea about how wrongly I predicted this New Year? Well, I cant because I was not wrong about my predictions. In fact, I did land the opportunity to work at that dream job that would land me closer to my goals. That opportunity came knocking several times. Each time there was always a roadblock thrown in my pathway to prevent me from going any further. Yes, Mr. Wonderful arrived with a cape in true fashion and stole my heart like no other. It was fun for a while but there was no happy ever after in our story. Mr. Wonderful was not the Mr. Wonderful for me.
When every thing that I prayed for came and left I was devastated. I cried, I prayed, I tried hard to fix everything. I wanted things to work out in my favor. It’s taken me up to this point to see the beauty in the many doors being shut in my face. In life we have so many expectations for ourselves. We paint a picture of what we wish to see happen. As we’re painting the paint begins to drip and we are convinced that our masterpiece is ruined. At this point some people give up and throw the painting away all together. Other people try to fix the mistake by painting over it or removing the mistake. Then there are those who say “fuck it” and keep on painting. After months of painting my picture and constantly being interrupted by slammed doors I said “fuck it” and I allowed what I saw as mistakes to help me finish my 2014 masterpiece. To my surprise my picture came out fucking fabulous. I say this to say, yes it’s a new year so everyone is especially excited to declare a change in their life. Just don’t get so wrapped up in what beauty you wish to see that you miss out on the natural beauty that falls into your life. I did not finish 2014 with any of what I truly hoped for but I received much more beauty in the surprises that life gave me. Life this year was overall the best year of my life. I’ve decided for 2015 I would make no list of needed accomplishments. I’m going to grab my paintbrush, pour myself a glass of wine, and invite life over to paint with me. I am so excited to see what we come up with for 2015. No expectations. Happy New Years!

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my name is Tripoli. pronounced TRIP-AH-LEE. Growing up my mother always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be. I believed her, I still do.

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