The other night I’m walking to my car. Obviously it’s dark outside. My car is parked in the back of my apartments. I see two black guys just hanging around. They don’t seem to be leaving or coming. I immediately get nervous and guarded. They see me just like I see them. I do the first thing that comes to my mind. I make a U-turn and walk, quickly, back to my apartment where there is light and I feel safe. I hear one of the guys say “damn she’s racist as fuck”,but I don’t care. I get to my apartment and I pace around my living room just praying that they leave. I have a hair appointment and ladies ya’ll know we don’t play about those. So I walk nervously back to my car. Observing the scene and making sure to keep my guard up. I get close enough to my car and I hurry in and lock the door.
Now hearing this story will probably make you have ugly feelings towards me. Hell, once I was in the car I felt bad myself. Let me take it back about a week prior to this incident and maybe my thoughts will be validated.
My good friend is on her way home from work. She drives a beamer and has a really nice condo in a great area. Suddenly she’s rear ended by a black Tahoe. Her natural instinct, just like any other persons, is to get out and check the damages on her car. The driver who hit her also gets out of his car. He happens to be a black male. My friend is evaluating her car to figure out the next step. She notices another black guy hopping out of the passenger side. The driver then grabs her and throws her on the gate. The passenger hops in her car and takes off. She’s so scared because she sees a third black guy in the back seat. She doesn’t know where her fate lies. She takes off running. The driver hops in the car and speeds in her direction. Luckily he drives past her after yelling obscenities. Now she’s out of a car and over 3k of personal property. Mind you this is only one of several friends who have been robbed by a black male. For some reason her story touched me the most. Her situation or any of their situations could happen to me. I consider myself to be very alert when I know I’m walking home or anything. In her situation I felt like there was nothing she could have done differently. True you could argue that she should have stayed in the car bunt seriously any persons first reaction in a car wreck is to check the damages of their car.
I felt really bad for profiling those guys that night. I’m sure it didn’t feel good for them to be treated like a criminal. My point is this; one mans bad decision can effect an entire community. He chose to rob her now she doesn’t trust him or anyone like him so they end up being profiled and resenting the profiler. I know this post is not going to change lives. This is just my point of view from my two eyes. This is what I see. Respect it or not but its the truth. We black women look to you black men to be our protectors. When that trust is violated it destroys us more than you know. In return we destroy anything in similarity to you. Most times its done unconsciously. When I saw those two guys I didn’t think “oh Tripoli they could be college educated brothers who do good for the community”. No. Fear crippled my mind into thinking the worst. Can you blame me? I don’t know what it will take to change the minds of the ones who actually do commit these crimes. I don’t know how to stick up for you when the white police officer thats taking my statement for a robbery you committed labels you worthless thugs. How can I defend you when you purposely and selfishly betray the one you should be protecting. All I can say is can you blame me ?