can you blame me?

The other night I’m walking to my car. Obviously it’s dark outside. My car is parked in the back of my apartments. I see two black guys just hanging around. They don’t seem to be leaving or coming. I immediately get nervous and guarded. They see me just like I see them. I do the first thing that comes to my mind. I make a U-turn and walk, quickly, back to my apartment where there is light and I feel safe. I hear one of the guys say “damn she’s racist as fuck”,but I don’t care. I get to my apartment and I pace around my living room just praying that they leave. I have a hair appointment and ladies ya’ll know we don’t play about those. So I walk nervously back to my car. Observing the scene and making sure to keep my guard up. I get close enough to my car and I hurry in and lock the door.

Now hearing this story will probably make you have ugly feelings towards me. Hell, once I was in the car I felt bad myself. Let me take it back about a week prior to this incident and maybe my thoughts will be validated.

My good friend is on her way home from work. She drives a beamer and has a really nice condo in a great area. Suddenly she’s rear ended by a black Tahoe. Her natural instinct, just like any other persons, is to get out and check the damages on her car. The driver who hit her also gets out of his car. He happens to be a black male. My friend is evaluating her car to figure out the next step. She notices another black guy hopping out of the passenger side. The driver then grabs her and throws her on the gate. The passenger hops in her car and takes off. She’s so scared because she sees a third black guy in the back seat. She doesn’t know where her fate lies. She takes off running. The driver hops in the car and speeds in her direction. Luckily he drives past her after yelling obscenities. Now she’s out of a car and over 3k of personal property. Mind you this is only one of several friends who have been robbed by a black male. For some reason her story touched me the most. Her situation or any of their situations could happen to me. I consider myself to be very alert when I know I’m walking home or anything. In her situation I felt like there was nothing she could have done differently. True you could argue that she should have stayed in the car bunt seriously any persons first reaction in a car wreck is to check the damages of their car.

I felt really bad for profiling those guys that night. I’m sure it didn’t feel good for them to be treated like a criminal. My point is this; one mans bad decision can effect an entire community. He chose to rob her now she doesn’t trust him or anyone like him so they end up being profiled and resenting the profiler. I know this post is not going to change lives. This is just my point of view from my two eyes. This is what I see. Respect it or not but its the truth. We black women look to you black men to be our protectors. When that trust is violated it destroys us more than you know. In return we destroy anything in similarity to you. Most times its done unconsciously. When I saw those two guys I didn’t think “oh Tripoli they could be college educated brothers who do good for the community”. No. Fear crippled my mind into thinking the worst. Can you blame me? I don’t know what it will take to change the minds of the ones who actually do commit these crimes. I don’t know how to stick up for you when the white police officer thats taking my statement for a robbery you committed labels you worthless thugs. How can I defend you when you purposely and selfishly betray the one you should be protecting. All I can say is can you blame me ?



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my name is Tripoli. pronounced TRIP-AH-LEE. Growing up my mother always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be. I believed her, I still do.

4 thoughts on “can you blame me?

  1. I would of done the same walk with a watchful eye it does not matter what color you are there is a point when you don’t feel safe in your on community. When I just to work late and get home at 3 am I would call my husband so he could be aware that I was on my way home. I would run to my apartment because I would feel scare and nervous .

  2. I must say I think you handled that well based on what’s been happening to your peers…..that story alone is so scary for me much less thinking about if it happened to you OMG!….I’ve been robbed at gun point before and sometimes we only have a second to make our next move our best move…..luckily I had a weapon to draw down on the yes I’m gonna say it….”.black man” I think I scared him and he ran out of my house…… If there was another time that ever happens to me in my life I may not be ready and it can go left…… Who can we trust?….. Not the government, not law enforcement not even our men……dear black man…..stop hurting our women….no baby girl I don’t blame you.

  3. I was robbed by a black man, when I was shoved to the ground and everything that I worked hard for was taken from me from a man with the same skin color as me it hurt my soul. It was the principle of the whole situation. It’s a lot going on in America today, people are getting killed , gunned down and even unfairly prosecuted for crimes they probably didn’t commit. I don’t feel bad for using my first instinct. I am afraid of all men when I’m alone , sometimes even with the ones I know. I am very cautious of my surrounding and I wasn’t before . After I was robbed and my personal space was violated I chose to be aware of all people, places and things. I DONT BLAME YOU!!!! I rather you be cautious then have a regret that you weren’t. We as black women are so strong and we even play out the things we would do and say if we were in that situation thinking and feeling like we could battle anyone who tried to take from us or hurt us, but we don’t know these strangers in the world walking the streets. We have to be careful and a man that sees a woman alone should always speak and give a friendly gesture to let that woman know that she isn’t in harms way. It’s something about a persons energy when I see them if I feel like they aren’t right, white back or Hispanic i don’t care. But now a days you can’t trust anybody it’s best to do what You have to do to stay safe and out of harms way. Love your post . Needs to be viral 👍🏾

  4. I definitely understand where you are coming from. It’s something that unconsciously happens with us women especially because I’m most cases our black men can over power is therefore we can not always defend ourselves. It’s unfortunate that a few bad apples have ruined the reputation of a whole race of beautiful people. How do we change this? It’s one thing when white people rape, murder, and rob black women (simply because this has been common for many centuries during slavery) but it’s another thing when our own men who are suppose to be protecting us, beating us down, like we aren’t on the same team. For the world to have a different opinion about us, it starts with how we treat each other. If we can’t come together, then how are going to get the rest of the world to accept us?

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